First post like this.

Every other night I write some form of story, or poem in my black book. The other day I wrote a story(poem) that was perfect to me. It's one of the few stories I've written completely about me and what's happening with and to me. Since I'm trying to work on changing my life I figured I'd do something I never do and post such a private thing on a platter for billions of people to see.


-scattered, I don't know-

I don't know where I am
I feel like a frail moon covering foreign land
Somewhere in my heart I forgot that I'm just human
The things that keep me alive
are found in the pain in other people's eyes
When I lose at this life will I gain a piece of paradise
and will I suffer through that too
Oh, sometimes I still wonder about You

I don't know what it was
but I saw it in a woman's eyes
And it told me to run
it told me that first I had to save my own life
So I found me alone
scared of everything I've ever known
Beatin' down by the idea that fighting through it will change my fate
When In reality I know that I can't comprehend my life
I can only learn to bend it's shape

I want to push beyond the words in songs
and learn to love my family first
I want to be proven wrong by finding love that lets me be
the better half of her, yet still fills my needs
Our selfish needs

I've walked in the dark towards beautiful sounds
that just led me around and around

I want to believe in God and that nothing is sound
but not in the way we just write it down
but all in the way it's carried out.

I don't know where it came from
but it arose in the morning like the subtle sun
It hollowed out my fear and shined life into my lungs
I was finding life's faithful way to start a garden heart
You have to believe that it's okay to have it torn apart

I feel You now
and like to think I know why You do what You do to us