Goodbye.

I have parted ways with Blogspot for 2 reasons:

1) Need something new
2) Tumblr is the perfect thing I'm looking for.


Find me here for the rest of our time on Earth:

My new TUMBLR

My top 10 for 2010?

I feel weird making top 10's anymore. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because it's not really interesting, or maybe it's because I wanted to be heard. It leans more on the second thing.
This year..oh this is the year (I say this every year) these are MY favorites. It's not that the previous ones aren't good and weren't my favorites too, but I'm sure I've added a few over the years that I just added so that someone will have to think twice about me liking them and blah blah blah.
I'm sure there are tons of other reasons too. The thing is, I really do listen to way too much music: 50% hanging just under the radar...25% really popular...15% ridiculous.
This year I really didn't rant about the albums I bought as much as I usually do.

I don't really want to explain why these albums are my favorites for the year. The only thing I can say is that Rogue Wave and Joel Levi are my favorite pieces of music this year. Everything else is kind of just what I listened to a lot. Favorites, in a way I guess.



Rogue Wave -Permalight-


Joel Levi -Middle of Everywhere-


Anberlin -Light is the way dark is a place-


Eminem -Recovery-


States -Line em' up-


Coheed and Cambria -The year of the black rainbow-


Motion City Soundtrack -My dinosaur life-


Taylor Swift -Speak Now-


Band of Horses -Infinite Arms-


Zach Chance -Love before the rust-

Empty Talking.

Getting older gets more annoying as each day goes by. Main topics of conversation used to be, "How am I gonna afford to get this oil change?" and "That band sucks, because secretly I'm into cutting things down that have succeeded that I don't like." Now, all I seem to hear is "Those jobs actually have a good salary?" and "Congratulations on your Engagement!"

I can't explain how much it feels like just yesterday I woke up and didn't care about anything other than what Aaron was doing later. Except just yesterday, literally, I had to wake up and write a five page paper on how debt can actually be good for corporations.

I know it's the same old story for most lucky young people in America, but that doesn't mean it sure is annoying. So annoying that it effects other things in our lives too, making us post on social networks about how annoying things truly are to us. We'll use elaborate stories with big words and type in ways we would never talk in public to drive the point in deeper.

I like the idea of good flow and well written stories, but I guess it's just different when you know the people. I understand wanting to be more presentable and mature, but I have trouble believing some of the things I read on our social crutches. They always seem forced. Hell, I do it all the time for no reason.

Why does any of this matter? It doesn't. Me writing this proves my point about how we lean on these things on our computers because we don't have to have the actual conversation with an actual human. Was that my point? Probably not, but it sounded smart.

James, why all the negativity? It's not negativity as much as it is honesty. It only makes sense for a 23 year old to rant about something that happens to everyone, along with things that he does himself. Don't get me wrong, some people I know have awesome blogs and awesome things to say. Hell, either way I'll continue to read everything I possibly can on the internet. And that makes sense coming from me.

I'm thankful for all the good and bad I always have. Happy Thanksgiving, internet.

"One liners" adds Joel.

I love how certain things are worded, especially in music. Actually, I think it's one of my favorite things about sound. It doesn't sound like much, but "I spent two years alone with you" from Justin Pierre is so simple and perfect to me. Everyone has felt that way, but worded the way it is just gives it a different feeling. The first time I heard that line I knew I loved it, even though at 17 I could only act like it pertained to me.
Where I'm going is this: I have a collection of songs that I love because they're great, but a specific selection are great AND have that one line that I don't seek out, it runs into me. And those songs I listen to ALL the time.
I wanted to share on my blog, that is only read by me, the newest edition to the family of great songs (with that one line) that I usually keep to myself.
My buddy Joel just put a CD out called "The middle of everywhere." The song, "The middle of everywhere" is my newest add. The line comes in the acoustic breakdown of the final chorus: "I just wanna be close to you and leave out all the other rules. I'm walking a hard line, it runs down the middle of everywhere…" Again, simple and perfect.
The melody of the way these lines are delivered are key too. I have to feel like, "What!? How have I been missing this song for so long?" The first time I heard Joel sing these words was long before they hit me. He first played the song acoustic at his house, but it him me the night of his CD release show. Perfect, Joel.
I feel weird talking about Joel and his music sometimes. Joel is a really good friend of mine. He's that friend that will open up to you, and let you open up to him. If he can be, he'll be there for you. So, it's weird saying how good he actually is because you have to be nice to your friends. But damn, Joel could blow up my Grandmother's house and I'd still truly feel that he is the best new musician that I've heard in a long time, and especially in Anderson, Indiana.

Updates on Joel

Speak Now Thoughts:

I've probably listened 6 times all the way through by now. Throughout the day I would write down my thoughts:


-1 through 6 are perfect. I felt like she was heading towards "Fearless" status…. and then song number 7 happened. More on that in a minute.

-The last song on the album is really good.

-Quit comparing it to "Fearless."

-Overall "Fearless" is better.

-Goodbye to any form, or slightest hint at being country music.

-This album is way too long. People already know she is overdramatic about losing love, now they're going to hear about it for over an hour with 5 songs being over 5 minutes long and two of those songs are 6 minutes! That's usually how you can tell when someone writes their first album with no help. That was definitely the case with "Speak Now." Nathan Chapman didn't even step in to say it was lengthy because Taylor had a plan for this album. If some of these songs (that are really good) weren't as dragging I'd love it more.

-If she left off 'The story of us' and 'Better than revenge' it might have helped out as well. I can't figure out what the hell she was thinking while writing those songs, and then recording them. She's not Hayley Williams. She's not Miley Cyrus. She's not Boys Like Girls. She is friends with all of them though. Still…those two songs absolutely suck!

-'Innocent' is awesome. The only thing that sucks is I'll only think of Kanye West when I hear it. She should stop promoting the songs the way she does. But who am I?

-'Dear John' is awesome. Even though it's almost 7 minutes (and I just talked about it being too long), it's the only exception to the lengthy songs. It doesn't feel long. It feels real. It's easily the best song on the album next to 'Mine' 'Last Kiss' and 'Sparks Fly.'

-Too many breakdown bridges.

-Hopefully her next album isn't conceptual.

-Her voice is extremely better than any other album she's been on. Now if she could just show that live people would only have one thing to hate her about. She used tons of auto-tune i'm sure, but she warmed up tons and tons of hours before recording too. But that's a different story. I still like that she sounds like a bad version of an American Idol contestant that only made it to the third round. She's much bigger than just a voice that can't sing well live. That's another story as well.

-I'm still saying a Million sold in a week.

-Getting used to the length? Hmm

-I hope she gets a new band soon. They all still look like jackasses.

-She shouldn't have abandoned Liz Rose. I can see now that Liz is probably the person that tells Taylor she needs to get to the point while writing a song.

Even though it is too long, Taylor wrote a pretty solid album for what it is (with the exception of 'the story of us' and 'better than revenge.') The songs that are good…are really good. I was just expecting a little better. And I'm not sure I'll ever get over the way I felt when 'Better than Revenge' and the 'The Story of Us' came on. I would love to know what the hell she was thinking when she thought those two songs fit in her discography.

If I had to grade this album I would give it a B -

Coheed in Ohio = Perfection

Singing along with Coheed and Cambria albums is definitely one of my favorite things about being alive. Yeah that's pretty drastic, but it's true. It's up there with waking up, sunsets, being with Emily, talking to my Mom, listening to switchfoot, and hoping for a girl when I have children.. but not getting upset if it's a boy.
Gary and I are heading to Ohio on Friday to see Coheed. This sounds pretty normal to most people..heading to a different city to see a band that you enjoy. NO NO. Gary and I spent most of our high school years going to Ohio to see bands we were obsessed with at the time..cartel 2 times, copeland 4 times, the starting line, relient k 2 times, death cab for cutie 2 times, underoath, paramore, warped tour 2 times, Alive festival, and many more.
We would take my big red 12 passenger van. I pulled 10 of the seats out so that we could pull into Days INN in Richmond and stay the night on an air mattress blown up in the back of my van.
The one band we never travelled to see was one of our favorites.. Coheed and Cambria.
Coheed is how Gary became one of my best friends. I can't tell you how many times Gary and I drove around blaring Coheed, or how many times we researched the story behind the words. Coheed is everything I love about music. This band lets me explore a part of me I never knew I had all while being able to apply it to my everyday life. Coheed is real! Claudio is extremely genuine. They're so much more than just a rock band, Coheed is why I play music (with help from John Mayer), Coheed has been there with me through everything...small or massive within the past 7 years. Coheed is easily one of my favorite bands of all time.
This is kind of a sporadic post, but it does mean a lot...at least to me. Because I will finally get to attend a Coheed show and not just see them play at Warped Tour in Indy.

Columbus Ohio: See you again in 5 days for probably one of the best trips I'll take to see 'you'

The Crossing.

Aaron and I got to play the Brickyard Crossing...for free. $100 course for free. Our pretty cool girlfriends got us "tickets" for our birthdays to Prairie View and the Brickyard. The following are pictures from the Brickyard Crossing. It was the coolest. I hit the ball better than I ever have in my life. This was basically a professional course too, so be happy for me. Yeah, I got an 86, but that's only because I finally hit one out of bounds and I missed a few 5 footers. Aaron won on his birthday and I won on mine :)


Let's roll!



I like to flirt with the hazards.




Aaron flirted a little more though..




The course was too perfect sometimes.




Suicide attempt #1




Suicide attempt #2




On to the 4 holes inside the Speedway.





Sometimes the sand trap covers the entire fairway...




Hardest chip of my life..Before





Hardest chip of my life..After ;)





Hi Aaron. Have a nice hike heheheheheheh.....





MMM





WHAT!?





Hello water that was "crossed" about 15 times.




(Please note we did act like idiots at times. But nobody saw it. We are respectful of courses. Kbye.)

Inevitable

All in one day.
My entire life on this planet is the same thing as an entire day on this planet.
The sun is born and rises and it's a beautiful thing.
As the sun is out and living in the vastness it faces dark times and clear skies.
Sometimes the sun will never show it's face.
It's hiding because we need the ugliness and pain to respect the beautifulness of God's strength.
There are many friends on earth that cannot make it without the sun.
Flowers cannot go too long without a conversation with their best friend!
All of the connections the sun makes with this world are usually vital.
And when the sun dies and sets for the day it's also beautiful.
Sure, there are times we don't get to really see a sunset. But it's happening anyways. Amazing.
Unfortunately death is also a wonderful part of our lives. Maybe the most wonderful.
24 hours is just a summary of 240 hours, and 2400, and 24000 and so on.
Life is definitely darker and uglier at times for some, but live each day..
All in one day.

Expanding

Emily and I took some friends to the Oliver Winery in Bloomington. We aren't huge drinkers, but we found stuff we loved! She might like hers more than I liked mine but you know :)
My friend Joel and his girlfriend Meg came down with me. We got to tour the winery, shop, climb, eat and you know.. We had a lot of fun today. Today was a good day.

Taste test



Haha :)



It's the climb

Catching me up.

I haven't typed on this internet site in a long time.

Since I've been gone..LOST is over. What a great TV show that was. I mean, I know people love to make fun of it and I get that but I don't understand how you can watch it from beginning to end and not find something from it. Oh well. I guess I don't actually care.

I've also cut certain things out of my life. Certain situations and moments and things that drag are going away. I used to think God wanted us to put up and deal with everyone and everything that comes into our little lives. I don't think that way anymore. I guess I could be nicer about it, but it will always seem mean because we're all so emotional and fickle. Oh well..another thing to work at. It's just some situations are better left alone and some people are better left in their quiet-ness or intense-ness.

I've also got a new job. A job that pays really well, but I work a lot. How am I going to go to school full time and work full time? That's a question I've wondered a lot lately. Sometimes the answer is simply..just do it. That question is so little to someone who wonders if there parents will come home or someone who wonders what a parent even is. I've just got to learn to be lazy at the right times. I'm doing alright.

My friend Joel and I meet up every Tuesday to catch up, talk and be friends. I like Joel as a friend because he's not afraid to talk about important things. We don't worry about being "men" or "bro's" or "dudes" ..we just talk about being humans. Joel's easy to talk to too. You've got to keep friendships going that feel good on both ends.

Speaking of friends, my best friend takes good pictures and that's been getting me really excited. She's cute. She'll take your pictures too if you let her!!! Check her out here: EMMY!! :)

My Mom finally got a job. She's been wanting one for a couple years now. Now if we can just get my Dad to find a better job..It feels weird that I'm working towards a degree so that I can have a job. A job to help support a family. That's got to be all that matters. At least it is for me. It feels weird updating this. I know I'm basically updating myself years from now. But if I'm not, hello.

Not a bash, but I'm tired and have red eyes.

It's 5 am. Here we go without stopping. GO..

A lot of my friends are starting to grow into new people. I like it. I hate it.
Sometimes Ill stop and think about how it really does seem like yesterday when we were all 16 and I just got a new car.
I used to drive around with my friend Jill and make her listen to Coheed. (She grew to like a few songs don't let her lie)
I never really did anything normal, or crazy while growing up. And now as I'm almost 23..I thank God for that.
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't have a drink here and there, I don't get all dressed up and "go out", I get all dressed up and go to dinner or on a night walk downtown, I've never smoked weed in a garage with people while listening to Incubus, I never fell in love when I was 13, or 15, and I never did anything that I thought my parents wouldn't like, and I never went to parties, and I never tried pills.
I don't understand why most these are normal progressions as we grow up. And I don't think any of it's wrong. I was just never there, never saw it. Later in life I saw a few of those things finally ruin my parents relationship. Which doesn't help as to why I thought a lot of it was wrong. But it's not the main thing. However, I did used to think it was wrong, but now I usually just laugh and realize I've been waisting my time.
I do like things.
I like to play golf with my friend Aaron, Aaron and I can be completely off the wall and on the exact same page, every Tuesday I meet my buddy Joel at the bar and he'll have a drink and we'll talk about our lives, I like to listen to Switchfoot late at night, I like to actually watch the stars, I like to pray to God about everything, I like to sit around a room with a bunch of friends and laugh about nothing, I like to work on being a better person, I want to marry someone crazy and fun and have kids more than I want peace on earth, I like shitty music, I like playing video games with my friend Gary, I liked skateboarding from 3pm until 10pm when I was younger, I miss Jill from high school, I've liked writing my thoughts down since I was 14, I liked never dating anyone while growing up and then growing up and having all kinds of issues with girls all-at-once, I like rebuilding, I enjoyed watching basketball or listening to music when I was 14 and 15 over anything else, In high school Aaron and I used to drive around and yell at people and that was our night (inside jokes were born with our own sense of humor) and I always liked hearing people laugh, or laughing myself.
I wasn't calling anyone out, but I probably was. If I did, I didn't mean to because, well you didn't do anything. Haha
Finals week is coming and I'm right where I want to be.

The bottle-hangman-runaround

For the ones who follow, it's crazy how we work our God out of the situations we want to put ourselves in because we aren't strong enough to deal with real life.
Nobody ever puts it all in Your hands. And maybe we shouldn't. But why do we fall into things that help us for only a few hours, or weeks? Why are we not truly trying for who we want to be?
It's crazy how you see the different sides of people when important things happen. So maybe we're supposed to act like idiots and do things we know aren't right so that we can look back and see that we've grown up? Hmm. Maybe.
Sometimes I'll hear things and those things make me sad, but then second they make me want to work on the way I react to times I have trouble dealing with things.
I usually apologize to the Infinite one for myself and all the stories I hear that hurt. If they hurt me... I can't imagine the way God feels.

Motion City Soundtrack (to my life)

I was hoping to have a lot of fun this weekend. I ended up having a great time from 10:30pm until 12:00am on Saturday in Evansville. Motion City Soundtrack's music has been there for me every time I've needed it. It was nice to be there in person and sing along to the songs that continue to always mean a whole lot to me.
Best part of the night? They played "Last night" and "Delirium" and "Don't call it a comeback"
Worst part of the night? They didn't play "Capital H" or "Hold me down"
"The good outweighs the bad if you stop complaining and look outside."

Where to next?

At the end of most "tough" things you'll evaluate the entire thing and search for the worst part of it and then dwell on it for some time. It's pretty scary when two birds in love have to part and the only thing there is to "dwell" on is how beautiful it was. It's okay to be let go in love and to let go in love. Sometimes love won't seal the deal. Sometimes you'll wake up ready to fly, but go to sleep ready to swallow the reasons you sigh. Know where you stand and someday you'll fly into someone with the same stance.
If you're not wishing the other bird the best in life, the calmest nights and for another reason to fly again, then maybe you were never in love. I love still, but love isn't selfish..I must remember. So, fly.





Words

The Infinite One has talked me to sleep again.

There is always the sun. The sun will rise and you can always count on that. You may be stuck in a jail cell or stuck in a sweat shop, but the sun will still rise. If you don't get to witness it; you can always dream about it. Because dreams will continue to rise too. Someday you'll be able to watch the sunrise while following a dream. You might even get to do it long enough to die.

God bless the world.

My friends and I can be sea turtles.

I know that publicly shades of me show up in the friend he mentions in the beginning of this essay. I think this friend he mentions lives in all of us. He or she has to.
But I like to notice when people actually care about what they're doing/learning enough to talk with and help someone else, not just to show how much "knowledge" they have of what they're learning only.
I'm comfortable with where I am with God personally, but I know that where I stand with Him publicly matters too..at least I know that much and that I want to/am working on it.
More importantly though, this piece reminds me of the questions and concerns I find when observing, hearing, listening and talking to a few people that I know.
Great read.

A Donald Miller essay.

Don't go there.

For my soul and mind; I hope that I can always keep faith over fact. I'd be okay with getting wrapped up in wanting answers (it would only make sense) but I hope to never let the passion I never asked for burn out even because of "fact."
I just want to learn how to respect others and their take on faith and/or God. I hope to never leap off the ground and jump down the throat of someone who mentions something that doesn't make sense to me in regards to religion. Clearly humans will be trying to make sense of this idea until the end of time. There's never going to be a solid answer, so even when I decide to tackle this thing by studying with a teacher who "knows more about it than I do" I hope I can always show a respectful side in every setting.
If someone is talking to me about their God being a Japanese turtle, I'd want to listen. Of course the Japanese turtle God was an exaggeration, but even if it seems like the most obvious thing in the world and that there would be no reason for a human to believe a certain way.. I hope to remember the entire spectrum of what I'm even talking about.
I hope I can always try to respect that other people are alive. You showcase this. She'll showcase that. God saves their lives. He'll think this way. They'll believe that way. My aunt thinks one way and my Grandma believes the other.
I just hope to always admire all of it.


I'm excited that I'm alive. I'm excited that I can become ONE with the world by looking out at the night sky and appreciate how the sun will always set for this moment. This moment of looking into the dark night is unbelievable. If I didn't notice how amazing it was I'd never be able to remember that I don't need this computer, this blog, these headphones, or these selfish worries. The thought of needing these things will always come back, but the amount of time I spend watching the world beyond this screen will probably outweigh the thoughts. Someday they will. They definitely will.

Under a month.

With everything in life: The Good, Bad, Ugly, and Everything else; It will always only be a matter of time.

Stalker.

A couple weeks ago I saw an old couple pull into the spot next to me in the Target parking lot. These two looked 60 years old, and Yep.. I watched them. They couldn't see me though because of the angle. He was explaining something, using his hands a lot. You could tell it was about to be hilarious when he finished explaining whatever it was he was talking about by the way their faces started to light up. Finally, they just lost it. They were laughing the way I laugh when I watch Kat Williams or Brian Regan.
After they started calming down and breathing right again, he kissed her (with both hands on her face) and then turned to get out of the car. He noticed me and that I was laughing too (I couldn't help it). He was sill smiling and when he made eye contact with me he just gave me a small wave and then grabbed his wife's hand and they headed into the store.

That's where it's at.