Search and love.

"You are not here for yourself alone, but for the sake of all sentient beings."
-Soen Nakagawa-roshi-

The search and love feel like the only two elements that we all have in common. Some people search for ways to prove your confident thoughts wrong. Some people search for ways to prove that the truth is the only way, and some people search for a way to just be comfortable in their own heart... to sit right in the middle of those two. Some people care enough to actually not care at all. Love is the only search we all have in common.

There are people that love “God” unconditionally and there is people that worship "Satan" in their room with Manson and candles. There are people that get a group of around thirty guys together to drive a couple planes into a few of America’s most defining buildings. We have people that write music and people that hate music. There are people that don't let any idea of religion, or God hold them down, yet they care. Some people wake up to put on their wrangler jeans, dirty beer-mesh- hats, steel-toed boots and carhart jackets to find a way to put money on the table doing "real man" work. Everyone knows about "THOSE" people from high school, and "THESE" other people from high school, one of which YOU were to one of the other groups of people. There are people that wake up, go to work, come home and watch television with a beer... then repeat, all the while trying to just do "good" without ever really searching for what "good" means in their heart. There are even people who will donate their life to people that have never known what it is to have a life. Basically, if you're looking for any type of person that you think only exists in your mind, they're right here on Earth.

Where was I going with all of these types of people? Oh yeah... All of these people want/study love and are searching. They either want to love someone, or want someone to love them, or they probably stray from whatever their idea of love is, all the while hoping someone will drop in to love them.

Love is hilarious. Love is hard. Love is good. Love is easy for two easy people. Love is difficult for people that work on making things honest, people that think too much... which is okay. Love is family. Love is more than "we've dated for two years now...time to drop the 3-letter-word." Love is a calm in the air. "Love is watching someone die." Love is staying there, sticking it out, sometimes alone. Love is mutual respect towards each other, or towards someone/thing. Love is changing. Love is kissing/sex/hugging/laughing/running/skipping. Love is going out of the way. Love is annoying. Love has already happened. Love is your idea of love matched up with someone else’s exact idea of love and then getting married. Love is, "Shit! You're pregnant? Let's get married." Love can be a never ending 'SEARCH' until you settle. ("Some men die under the mountain just looking for 'gold' some men die looking for a hand to hold.")

Love seems like something new every day depending on anyone's idea usually impacted by faith, something new that you just got out of the religion you follow, pop-culture actions, music, friends and the reasons THEY sleep around...or wait, a book you just read, a movie you just watched, families, watching families with nothing, watching families take $7000 vacations, watching your family break and build, seeing a woman watching and holding the hand of her husband as he slowly dies, or even the way the wind moves and the sun sets.

Most likely your thoughts on love will always change, just like everything will. Change truly is the only constant. Keep following your ideas of love and challenge the hell out of them. Who/what sticks and why? Two people in love should be willing to keep flowing down the river that will always change. Keep searching, even if you're in love. Keep digging at loves grave. Feelings that are still with my always changing mind: Basically, everything I've just said, but mostly...
Love is waking up. Love is slowly learning about Christ and other important figures of other stories. Love is them first. Love is the Sun holding out. Love is family and Love is the honest, yet unselfish, personal view of someone’s uncharted actions/ways.




Song for the moment: Monsters of Folk "The right place"